That Blurred Line
by ExtraJuicy
Summary: SHENKO; First the scene on Horizon, then the babbling email, Shepard finds she's had enough and takes a moment of shore leave to screw her head back on. A little tequila doesn't hurt.
1. That Blurred Line

That Blurred Line

_Author's Note:_ It doesn't stray TOO far from the central story, but I may have let some experimental imagination juices drip into it…I did change some shit about the romantic subplot, I was quite upset when Kaiden yelled at my Shepard...

_Pairing:_ SHENKO…loves it.

_Rating:_ M for MATURE…means dark, sexual, and graphic.

_Disclaimer:_ Don't own any of it, damnit. I'm dealing with it.

~*~

"You betrayed the Alliance…you betrayed me…"

Her dreams haunted her, black nightmares whose soundtracks always provoked the deep-rooted pain Shepard had carried with her since she was awakened. The only thing she had asked for, to find him, had been pointedly denied, until it had been Cerberus' opportune moment. His words, the sadness and anger that had dripped from them when she'd finally come face to face with him, had stabbed her in the heart. Her shock had prevented her from defending herself properly. She never had the chance to make him understand.

"It could never be the same…"

A dim light filled her cabin with an eerie blue glow; the soft hum of the newly designed engine in the lower decks slowly brought her back to reality. Covered in cold sweat, Shepard rose from her bed and made a quick trip to her private shower.

"Be careful, Shepard…"

Even awake his voice still echoed in her ears. She couldn't even begin to count how many different nightmares she'd had about him. Other worries, fears and guilt-trips would leak in once and a while, but it was Kaiden Alenko who starred in every one, every night. She'd watched him burn in the scattered wreckage of the original Normandy, had been stuck watching him love another, and had watched him kill himself in efforts to join her…just to name a few of the more recent.

Ever since Horizon the dreams had become more vivid. Just the other night she'd dreamt he came to her, all the passion and intensity he'd shown the night before Ilos simmering just under the surface, waiting for her to invoke it, and she could've sworn when she touched him that she was awake, that it was real. That he was here, that he wasn't leaving. In the end though, he always left, willingly or otherwise. Most of the time, it would be a scene of him being dragged away from her desperate arms.

Maybe she was going crazy; maybe she should've been left for dead. She sure as hell didn't see how much use she was going to be when the only thing she wanted in this universe didn't want her anymore. She just, couldn't concentrate with this hole in her heart.

"Joker to Shepard, we're approaching the relay."

Shepard lifted her head from her musings; still only half dressed from her shower she realized she'd lost herself to her moping again and shook her head.

"I'll be there in three minutes."  
"Aye aye, ma'am."

Shepard sighed, running her fingers through her wet auburn hair a couple more times she tied it up into a loose loop of a pony tail and donned her shirt. Exiting her cabin via the elevator she arrived at the command center and looked over the workplace.

The beeping of working machines and the purr of the ship itself calmed her, but only a little. Her crew working diligently at their posts was reassuring, everyone else seemed oblivious to her inner turmoil and that was the way she wanted to keep overheard a conversation between two of her techs as she made her way to the cockpit, and the word 'Reapers' floated up from their hushed voices.

Every muscle in both of her arms tensed at the name. The Reapers had been the main source of her hate and fear for what felt like forever. They had taken everything, or had tried, and now their newest weapon was closing down on them, abducting them. To find the Collectors, to stop their abductions, to find their connection with the Reapers, for she was sure they were working together, this was her mission. This was what she'd been brought back to life for.

They were currently enroute to the Citadel to give Shepard a chance to appeal to the Council; she felt she needed their support, as bitter as they had been with her during her last campaign, she had hope that her sacrifices as a human and as a Spectre would earn her their respect. She wanted to believe she was fighting for the good guys, and working with Cerberus left a bad taste in her mouth, even if they had brought her back, she needed to feel loyalty to something. Even if that something was a group of politicians that always resisted her ideas. Even if the only thing she really felt loyal to was a man who didn't want anything to do with her anymore.

Shepard picked up her pace to the cockpit to watch their jump front row. It was something she didn't usually miss out on. She arrived in time to hear the tail end of snide words between Joker and EDI, and smirked as she listened.

"Mr. Moreau, your improper use of the jump coordinate system could result in multiple hull breaches, injury to crew and…"  
"I got it, alright. You quote any more regulations while you're trying to drive from the back seat and I'll find a way to shut you down damnit, so help me I'll set your memory core adrift into the nothingness of deep space."

Shepard smiled wider, if only a little more. It was comforting to know Joker was here with her, after all that happened, considering who they were both working for, he was possibly the only thing keeping her sane. She didn't need to make her presence obvious; Joker knew better and began to run through his pre-jump calculations, even though the Commander didn't need to hear them. Chalk it up to routine.

The ship jolted a minute later, when the first of the energy spikes latched on and started to pull them into the jump. The intense electrical surge that Shepard could easily feel every time they hit a relay was a side effect of her new biotic implant, and it always seemed as if she were the only one who felt it, though there were a couple other biotics on board. She let the tingle run unchecked down her spin, a wave of uncontrolled fear spreading with it as she once again contemplated on the possibility that the implant had a secret mind-altering device that could change her at any minute to be a full servant of Cerberus, a weapon for them to yield unmatched. It made her sick, knowing something that dreadful was not beyond them.

It happened so fast, and not but a short time later they had entered the Citadel's orbit, the sky around the massive station buzzing with traffic and C-Sec security ships. It was hard to believe it had been two years, Shepard could still see scarring from photon cannons along the arm of the ship closest to them, from the battle with Sovereign. She'd been awake for a month and a half, had come to terms with the two year coma she'd been kept in, and still it felt like she'd faced Saren yesterday. When she thought deeper on the events of that day, the bitter-sweet pang of longing for her previous Lieutenant hit her full force.

"Bring us into port." She ordered plainly, knowing it was going to happen anyway but needing the words to break her from her impending trance.

Joker easily recognized the clipped tone in his Commanders voice, her eyes tight and her face pained, though she was attempting to hide it. He decided to keep his smart remarks to himself for the time being, and paged the landing tower at the C-Sec base. Apprehension still dwelled in his gut as they descended and essentially 'parked' the new Normandy in the awaiting zone, waiting for the docking pads to turn red, waiting to be told they were grounded once more. He shook it off and looked over his shoulder at Shepard.

"Good to go, Commander."

She nodded, not sparing him a glance for fear she might lose her tentative hold on her building emotions. She had the Council to deal with, and that would be no easy feat. The last thing she needed was to be reminiscing, about Kaiden or otherwise. There were too many memories here, both good and bad. Joker knew most of them, from witnessing it or hearing the rumors. So much had been started here, on this very space station, and at the same time, so much had been brought to some kind of revelation, so much had been ended, finalized.

Consciously, and with no small amount of mental effort, Shepard put up her guard, pieced back her mask, and turned to march to her locker to prepare for the confrontation. Her only hope to be found on the Citadel today was to regain the support of the Council. God knows she was going to need any help she could get.

~*~

Kelly Chambers was working methodically at her terminal, stationed at the right hand of the Commander's platform, when the airlock and decontamination chamber hissed open. The thundering, angry footsteps of Commander Shepard didn't come as too much of a surprise, for Chambers could have easily foretold that the Galactic Council wouldn't want anything to do with Cerberus. Before Shepard had reached the threshold of the command center, Kelly's terminal blinked as an incoming message passed through her station on the way to Shepard's inbox. She looked up just as the Spectre blew past her and into the elevator, and decided against alerting the frustrated and dangerous women of the new email. If it was important it would have come through the hot line, Shepard would see it on her own time and Kelly wasn't going to agitate her already unstable rage with something so trivial. She hadn't been stationed here for her lack of skill, and reading people was her best ability.

The forlorn looks on the faces of the squad members Shepard and taken ashore with her did nothing but prove Kelly's observations correct. Garrus Vakarian and Jacob Taylor both seemed to mimic the Commander's mood, more than likely because they were both witness to what had happened at the Council meeting, both seemed to lack the same morale they had left with. As a result, Kelly knew it wouldn't be long before the rest of the crew picked up on their gathering hopelessness. She would have to speak with Shepard...later.

~*~

The elevator groaned quietly as it moved to the top floor, Shepard's private cabin. It seemed more like a luxury suite to her than just a captain's chambers, she was used to a small room with a desk and a bed as it had been on the original Normandy. Instead she now had two desks, a small sitting area with comfortable leather couches, a king sized mattress and a 400g fish tank. It seemed like such a waste of space. She would probably never use the fish tank, collecting models for the built-in display case was a mundane and needless task, and what one person needed two desks and a king-sized bed?

It was frustrating just being here, she had wasted her time pleading to the Council, Anderson had been there to offer all the support he could but even now as the first human Council member he was talked down to, ignored. He at least was able to reinstate her Spectre status, but that had been all the help he could give her, and she had taken it graciously.

Her mind was still a mess from her earlier bout of emotional misery, now to top it all off she'd just stood in front of people, whose lives she'd saved from what was obviously a Reaper, to have them tell her it was all a ploy by Saren, there was no Reaper ship, it was all in her head.

"Fuck! How can you be so stupid!" She bellowed to her walls, and without fully considering her actions slammed her fist down on one of her desks, rattling everything that sat atop it and cracking the laminated surface.

Something clattered to the floor by her feet, and she closed her eyes, knowing what had fallen. They had put it in here on purpose. To either worsen her guilt, to throw what she'd lost in her face, or because they somehow thought it would make her stronger. After another moment she took a deep breath, and bent to pick up the picture frame.

It was a digital frame, one that would turn itself off until she entered the room and activated the motion sensor, so when she turned the picture around and saw nothing at first she thought she'd broken it and a small panic had started to bubble. His face blinked onto the screen a moment later, those swirling chocolate eyes grounding her, as they always did. She didn't have any other picture of him, and it was the only reason she left this one alone, hadn't thrown it against the wall to shatter it to a million pieces. Maybe the Illusive Man had known that, maybe it was strength he was trying to give her by supplying her a picture of the one man she ever really completely gave herself to. Or maybe he was just a cruel bastard pulling at her weakest points, testing his boundaries, proving his superiority.

Suddenly disheartened, Shepard sat in the desk chair and cradled the photo frame against her chest. Never had she felt so defeated than she did now, not even in the face of certain death had she felt this…lost.

Setting the picture back where it had been she allowed herself another moment to stare at his two dimensional profile, with that small grin that just barely curved the corners of his lips, the strong jaw that was set firm in determination. She wondered then when the picture had been taken, Kaiden hadn't been looking into the camera, and the background was unrecognizable. It was inconsequential, she knew, but she wondered any way.

"I thought I'd lost you…"

Shepard groaned and dropped her elbows on the desk, her face in her hands as his voice once again came to her mind. The void in her chest felt like it was getting bigger, a black hole that would slowly destroy her from the inside if she kept living in the past, if she kept holding on to a lost cause. She needed something, anything to get her mind clear, to screw her head back on straight.

There was nothing to do for now, after Horizon they still weren't any closer to finding the Collector's, let alone stopping them. Mordin had stitched together a decent armor upgrade to defend against small amounts of seeker swarm attacks, but he had said he probably wouldn't be able to modify his upgrades to protect against a full scale swarm without resources that weren't available or easily accessible to her at the moment. The ship's upgrades were proving thus far to be useful, but she wouldn't be able to test most of the add-ons until they hit the Omega 4 Relay, and at that point it would be too late to make adjustments.

"Fuck…" She said again, this time a whisper.

With a tap of her finger her display on her terminal popped to life, casting an orange light around her. She made a quick run-through of her last mission report, mostly to see if her 'superior' had read and responded yet. It usually didn't take the Illusive Man long, and she wasn't disappointed. He didn't send her any more useful information, other than a courteous reminder that she still had two more dossiers to consider, two more people to recruit. Thane Krios and Tali…Shepard actually surprised herself when she realized she hadn't contacted one of her old crewmates yet. A testament to how out of it she'd let herself become.

Marking the Illusive Man's message as read, her inbox popped open once more and she began clearing through all of the texts she'd been sent. A letter from a man named Billy that sent a sharp, icy chill through her, the dossiers for the remaining two recruits, a couple more that she marked simply as junk mail and mentally made a note to chastise Miss Chambers for allowing such crap to make it to her mailbox. By the time she erased everything that was of no use to her and catalogued everything that was, she came to her last message, the newest message, and her heart skipped a beat.

"About Horizon…" it read, and she knew immediately it could only be one person.

Shepard froze, a bright red caution sign flickering in her mind as she debated whether or not to open it, tried to decide whether or not she wanted to read it at all. The time on the message head reported that it had been sent and delivered today, not more than 20 minutes ago. In the end, she couldn't take it, and desperately grasped at whatever hope she could muster as she tapped the screen and the message expanded.

The very first thing she registered was his apology for his behavior, then his reasoning behind his reactions, then his admission of guilt and his tentative suggestion at the end.

"When everything cools down…maybe…"

Her heart fluttered, but she shot it down immediately before walking herself right into another emotional trap. He'd said maybe, and she knew he was hurting, knew it killed him to even send the message at all which was why it came a week after the incident on Horizon. Maybe wasn't a definite for anything, but it did mean there was a possibility there in the distance. Her future with the Collector's was unclear, she may never get the chance for a 'maybe' with Kaiden and she knew it. His memory was going to kill her, she was sure of it, as long as the Omega 4 Relay or whatever they found on the other side didn't get to her first.

Without the strength to even write a response Shepard shut her console down and donned her civvies before leaving her cabin for the central command. She bypassed everyone and made a beeline straight for the cockpit.

"Joker, I'm going ashore, I have some business to take care of and need to get my head in the right place. Release the crew for a 24hr shore leave, but notify them that they may be called in early. I need you to report to me anything of dire importance that comes through. Expect to be leaving port when I return."

"Aye, Commander." The roughly-shaven pilot acknowledged, carefully not asking questions about Shepard's 'business' and returned to his systems check.

~*~

_Ooook there's the first chapter...not awesome, not dripping in sexy goodness, but it's a start so deal with it._


	2. Damn Worm

~*~

It was dark, red carpet and black paint, low pitched mood lighting surrounding the booths and private corners where Asari, and surprisingly enough female human dancers entertained guests of every stature. The bar wasn't very busy, though the thumping music made it hard to concentrate at all, Shepard took a seat at the far end and patiently waited for a bartender to take notice. It didn't take long before a Turian marked with red face paint stepped into her line of sight, rag over his broad shoulder and apathy in his face. He didn't know who she was, he didn't care, and she liked it that way.

"Tequila?" She asked hopefully, knowing full well it was a human drink and one that most of the time never managed to make it past Earth's nearest space colony, the Adonis. She had her fingers crossed.

"Hmph, you're the second human to ask me for that shit tonight." The bartender grumbled, but didn't say no as he moved away from her to a central cooling cabinet in the middle of the long bar. He hissed as he grabbed the ice cold bottle, and without pouring a glass he simply set the bottle on the bar in front of Shepard. She couldn't help but grin when she noticed the putrid little worm lying toxic and deadly at the bottom of the bottle.

"Good old Mezcal…" She muttered mostly to herself, but the bartender heard as he stood there waiting. "I'll need a shot glass, if you have one."

The Turian nodded, grabbing a small rocks glass which was the closest thing he had and setting it in front of her. She thanked him and watched him walk away to help someone else, a young Asari that could have easily been a dancer and not a customer. Shepard was overwhelmingly grateful the Turian had left to bottle with her, and she figured other than the other human he mentioned she was the only one that would really drink it, at least this week.

An hour passed, and then two, her comm link stayed quiet and she was eternally grateful for the lack of disturbance from her crew. She was ashamed to admit the mission was not critical in her mind right now, but that was why she was here, a good decompression session would help her put everything in prospective and get her shit together while they waited for orders.

The bottle now half empty and her mind now properly clouded and distracted, Shepard cracked her first smile since coming into Chora's Den, the rat hole she'd cleaned out two years ago fighting to get to Fist. She sighed and the smile faded; Kaiden had been with her for that raid, Wrex too of course. Reliving the memory took only a second, but as soon as she had she felt her heart ache, and poured another hefty shot into her glass. Her eyes glazed over a little as the alcohol burned its way through her esophagus, but she did not grimace. She'd been a marine too damn long to not be able to stomach tequila, even after a two year coma, and she was proud to realize she still had the willpower.

"Something on your mind?"

Shepard looked up to see the same Turian bartender speaking to her, his glittering black eyes regarding her with a mild curiosity that hadn't been there before. She pursed her lips, feeling her inhibitions dropping with the passing minute and swirled her glass thoughtfully before downing it entirely and asking him a question instead.

"Why do you ask?"

He shrugged, "I've been told a human's Tequila was like a Turian's Fletuv…which if you didn't know can put even the most tolerant of us on our ass after two drinks…you've had at least seven. I was assuming there was a reason."

"Yeah, well…I fucked up." Shepard answered, the small amount of cheer she had been working on since the drunkenness had started to come on diminishing quickly.

"Every one fucks up. But that still doesn't sound like the reason your giving yourself alcohol poisoning."

Shepard smiled a crooked, bitter smile and chuckled under her breath. "You know, I guess I'm just here to forget about something, if only for a little while."

"Fair enough. Name's Kliminseskil, but you humans always slaughter the pronunciation, so just call me K."

"Well met, K."

Another hour passed, slowly compared to the first hour she was here, but her pain hadn't disappeared. She knew if she drank anymore under this depression that was riding her shoulders that things were only going to get worse, but she couldn't resist. She was almost to that little red worm, and still no contact from Joker. K had come by several times to chat briefly, nothing too serious, nothing too invasive, he'd even managed to get her to laugh outright at one point, though it was strained. Another hour and the bar was a little more crowded with the standard work day over, men pouring in from all races, filling up the bar stools and booths and soon there was nowhere left to sit. People kept coming though, and soon the bouncers had to move to the doors to keep the population in the club limited and under control. Shepard began to feel like she couldn't breathe, so many bodies in such a small space.

But she was almost done with her bottle, and if nothing else was accomplished, she at least wanted that damn worm. She poured another shot, estimated she had about another three or four left before her goal would be met, and smiled sloppily in her pointless triumph.

"Hey, need that bottle, can't believe another humans asking for it…3rd time in a day after two months of it just sitting in the freezer…"

Shepard furrowed her eyebrows at the bartender, grabbing the neck of the bottle and holding it close to her. K frowned, giving her a look that told her to dare give him more of an attitude.

"I want the worm." She said defiantly, and though he seemed confused K nodded and reached out again.

This time, Shepard let him take it, and leaned against the bar to see which human had ordered the ruthless drink. The bartender walked around the curve of the bar, whoever had asked for the Mezcal was on the exact opposite side, and was invisible to her in her current position. As curious as she was, she did not want to lose her seat to the circling vultures, Turians and humans alike wandering around in constant search of open seating. She let it go, deciding it was not important and closing her eyes to stop the spinning of the room.

K returned a few minutes later, toting the tequila bottle that held maybe a shot and the worm that she coveted. She smiled, happy that he had saved it for her, most other Turians wouldn't have given two fucks if a human got what they wanted or not.

"Thanks K…"  
"No problem. That human seemed to be in just as dark of a mood as you are; maybe he needs company just as much as you do?"

Shepard startled slightly at the Turian's boldness, but bit her lip instead of saying something she didn't mean and would probably regret later. The bartender shrugged, and went back to business with the next customer while Shepard sat and pondered. It wouldn't be hard to find the human with tequila; the stuff had a strong enough smell that if she didn't have some in front of her she'd probably be able to smell the other human's glass from here.

Finally, and with a deeply resigned huff she grabbed the bottle and stood up from her seat, took one step away from it and immediately it was reoccupied by someone that had been standing behind her, waiting. Damn vultures.

Honestly, she didn't know why she actually went looking for her unknown 'tequila buddy', but when she caught a whiff of the stench that was her favorite drink she followed it, and found a man sitting with his back to her in a booth off to the side of everything. There were no others sitting with him, no dancers grinding on him, just him with raven colored hair and a white t-shirt that did nothing to hide finely tuned back and arm muscles. Shepard felt a tingle in her belly, a well toned body was a turn on most definitely, but her heart wasn't ready for any kind of flippant relationship, one-night stand or otherwise. She still loved…

The man stretched, ran a hand through his hair and turned to the side to check the entrance of the club, for someone or something Shepard didn't know. All she could possibly register was the familiarity with the way the man moved, the profile of his face that she could see from where she was just out of his peripheral vision. Was this coincidence; was this karma or fate, a cruel joke played on her by whatever greater power there was out there?

He was definitely the one with the tequila; there was an empty glass and a full glass in front of him, both with a lime wedge and salt on the rim. He sat leaning against the table on his elbows, dog tags tinkling almost unheard under the music as they hung from his neck. Maybe she was hallucinating now, maybe this was another nightmare and she was still back on the Normandy, whatever it was she had to know if it was really him or not. This was the last place she would expect to randomly run into him, but now that he was in her sights, intoxicated as she may be, she needed to see him.

This was a horrible idea, of course she knew this, but there was nothing stopping her, and before she could change her mind she found herself sitting down almost clumsily on the bench seat opposite her former lover.

Kaiden Alenko's expression was priceless, to say the least. Shock, anger, anxiety, hope…all bundled into one, his fist tightening around his glass until she thought he would break it. Before he could open his mouth to comment, Shepard lifted the now nearly empty bottle of tequila and set it on the table. Realization dawned on him as he looked at the bottle, and then back to Shepard. The bartender had made a comment to him about how he wasn't allowed to have the worm, some bad ass human female had been working on the bottle all night and had laid claim to it.

His eyes lifted to find hers staring at the bottle still, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she contemplated something. He knew that look, and though every bone in his body wanted to scream at her for being here, wanted to hold her as tightly as he could, wanted to get up and leave before she said anything…he sat in silence, and proceeded to slam his second drink.

"Wanna split it?" She asked suddenly, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

"What?"  
"The worm, wanna split it?"

Kaiden furrowed his eyebrows, "Never tried the worm before."

Shepard grunted at the answer and poured the last shot into one of Kaiden's empty glasses, the worm slithering out with it. With a quick tilt of the head, she killed part of the liquid, bit half the worm off and left the rest to sit at the bottom of the glass before holding it out for him. Not wincing once.

He took a minute, arms crossed tightly over his chest to try and slow the pounding of his heart, he looked her over. She looked so beat, so tired and defeated, and he hated it. He missed Shepard; he missed her so much it literally hurt him to think about her, he'd had twice as many migraines in the last two years than he ever had in his life because of her. He wanted to sweep her away from this hell they lived in and make everything better, make everything right. Those two drinks had warmed his insides, and if any of the rumors were true he knew eating that worm was going to mess him up bad for the night, and probably lead to some less than stellar situations. The look in Shepard's ice blue eyes made something give, and without  
another moment of hesitation he took the offered glass and swallowed.

It had to have been one of the most vile things he'd ever put in his mouth. But he swallowed that damn thing, his face scrunching up like he'd just sucked on a lemon and Shepard giggled. She surprised herself with the sound, but quickly became stuck in the here and now when Kaiden finally met her gaze, years worth of hurt and misunderstanding glowing in the brown depths. This would be her only chance to right some of the wrongs they were facing, and she needed to do it tactfully. Being hammered drunk was not going to help her at all, but at least it made everything seem easier.

"Why are you here, Shepard?" he asked, crossing his arms back over his chest. She frowned, stomping back feverish thoughts of how he looked without that shirt, and considered her answer.

"Well, I died…spent two years in a coma while the Alliance forgot about me and Cerberus rebuilt me. The Council shunned me, the Collector's are still out there and still kidnapping humans and there's still nothing I can do about it…and I got your message…" The last part was almost too quiet to hear, but Kaiden caught it, and he felt his throat tighten.

"All in all," Shepard continued, flagging down an incoming waitress. "It's been a helluva couple of weeks…and tequila sounded like a good idea."

An Asari with wild white face markings flowed to the table side and Shepard held up the empty bottle of Mezcal, waggling her eyebrows and hoping they would have more. Unfortunately for her the waitress informed her that it had been their only bottle and Shepard waved her away.

"Wait…you were in a coma?" Kaiden asked, tripping over his words a little as his vision blurred and his head swam.

"That's what I said isn't it?" She answered, her bitterness saturating her voice uncontrollably.

A fight was not something she'd been looking for, but if one came she was ready for it. Drunk or not, she still had a mean hook, and could easily dance around anyone, swaying or stumbling aside. Kaiden did not pick up the hostility, however, always so calm and collected even in the presence of his drunk, recently dead lover. Shepard's heart ached thinking about it, remembering him, looking at him now and reliving a memory no matter where she looked.

A dawning realization hit Kaiden square in the face and his anxiety over the fact that Shepard let him think she was dead for two years evaporated instantly. She'd been in a coma, she had no idea what was happening...but Cerberus...Kaiden leaned against the table, unfolding his arms and looked at Shepard intently.

"You work for them, because you feel like you owe them, don't you?"  
"I work for them; because I fear they are the only ones that can help me stop the Reapers from coming." She admitted quietly.

Kaiden fumed when he heard her answer, the same answer he'd gotten on Horizon. He refused to believe the Alliance would completely turn its back on her, their first human Spectre, their hero, but she seemed convinced and this only made him angrier. The tequila worm was taking its effect, he could feel it settling in his stomach and the sudden wave of reckless encouragement made him open his mouth in irritation.

"Their using you! How can you be so blind?"

In an instant, those blue eyes became fiery and strong, defiance screamed from every pore in her body as she registered his words and Kaiden noted that she looked much more like her old self.

"Don't you think I KNOW that?" She demanded, her fingers curling into fists on the tabletop. "Don't you think I've fought against them long enough to know exactly what their capable of? I've had nightmares about what they could've done to me while they rebuilt my body…"

Her sentence trailed as sadness returned to her posture. Her shoulders slouched deeper, a strand of hair falling into her eyes as she shook her head and looked away from him.

"I've had nightmares about what they would do to you, if I ever tried to leave…"

Silence stretched between them, both pained and wanting something to make things right, trying to find the words that would either clean up the end pieces or sew them back together. Lost as they were to each other the club around them boomed with false cheer and half naked dancers, the music dull and unoriginal, the people just blurs that Shepard couldn't bring into focus. No one was as important to her right now then the man she sat with, and it hurt her just to look at him.

"Look, I didn't know it was you when I came over here. I guess I was looking for someone to share my misery, to drink it all away and get back into the game. I thought, maybe just one night, I could forget about everything I've lost…when the bartender told me someone else was drinking my drink I thought maybe that person could relate, perhaps he or she had seen or done something just as devastating…for that's the situation that usually calls for something like Mezcal."

She paused, brought her eyes around to see Kaiden's gaze locked to his hands, but she knew he was listening.

"When I read your message my world stopped. 'Maybe' isn't something I can handle right now…"  
"So what? You want me to give you a direct 'yes or no'? Because at this moment..."  
"Stop…" She knew what he was going to say, and didn't blame him for his reaction.

"Kaiden…I need you to know that I may not be coming back, from the mission I've been assigned to."

His breath caught when he heard this, all the ire forming on the tip of his tongue dying when she looked at him with those heartrending eyes, a hollow shell of what they could be, and realized suddenly the idea that he might lose her…again.

A Turian stumbled past their table, tripping on something he fell and had to catch himself on the back of Shepard's bench, consequentially falling on top of the Spectre. She squeaked in surprise, but pushed the alien to his feet and watched him lumber off ignorantly.

"Can't even apologize…" She mumbled, looking after her offender.

The club was suddenly louder and more obnoxious, as if the clumsy Turian had snapped her back to reality and her surroundings. She wrinkled her nose as the smell of vomit drifted to where she sat. This place was disgusting, and she momentarily wracked her brain to try and remember why she'd come here of all places.

Kaiden still sat in shocked silence, the words he needed not forming, the questions he wanted to ask racing too fast, there were too many and he knew he wouldn't be able to ask all of them. He looked at her as if she would disappear, and when she met his eyes again he felt his heart break a little more.

"Would you…like to go somewhere else?" He asked, looking around at the filth that was Chora's Den.

"And for what purpose?"

Kaiden didn't answer right away, a small blush coloring his cheeks as he thought of the implications he'd given in his request. He'd been successful at keeping her off his mind in that way for a good solid month or two, until now. All the events of the night before Ilos, of the few weeks they'd had together before the Normandy had been destroyed, all gripped at his resolve, weakening it.

"To talk…?" He offered, his voice taking on a raspy edge that he knew Shepard would hear.

Had it been any other time, had she been any less wasted than she was right now, she would have replied in the negative. But, flying high on Mezcal, it was the only thing she wanted to do. To be alone with him again, even if it was just to talk. She wanted to hear his voice unhindered by the atmosphere, spoken only to her.

"Where to?" She asked, standing to stretch her legs.

Kaiden didn't answer, merely stood with her as he forwarded credits to the bar via his omni-tool. The action reminded her to do the same, and with a quick detour to forward extra credits directly to K's account for his service and support the two made their way into the quiet hallways of the Wards. She let him lead, following a step or two behind him, both walking uneasily as the alcohol in their system continued to build. She smirked, remembering Kaiden saying not but minutes before that he'd never tried the worm. Had these been different circumstances, she would've teased him about it, would've warned him that the worm was like digesting multiple shots slowly, that even though he wasn't drinking anymore he was still getting drunk.

The revelation made her stop for a second, realizing what might happen if she continued to follow him, to wherever he was leading her. If it was somewhere public she was probably going to make an idiot of herself either trying to kiss him or trying to fight him. If it was somewhere private, she didn't know if she'd be able to keep her clothes on or her tears in check. Either way, this was probably the worst decision she was going to make this lifetime.

Damn that worm.

~*~


	3. Sweat Censored

_Author's Note:_ This chapter was meant to be much steamier, and for those of you interested in the more graphic love scene please refer to the copy under the same pen name on …on a separate note it wasn't until after I wrote this chapter that I realized 'duh, the Citadel runs around the clock and never really closes for night' but decided not to change it because I kind of like the first scene.

~*~

They started their seemingly aimless trek through the markets, entering through one of the lower levels to an open spread of closed vendor kiosks and scattered janitorial workers. Shepard immediately recognized the area, having confronted a Salarian named Chorban and a Krogan named Jax…she could picture both separate instances clearly, could see Kaiden and Ash at her side, as they always had been those days.

Moving up the stairs to the main level she knew she was drunk when she thought she saw Conrad Verner leaning against the opposite wall. A blink and he was gone. That was the moment Shepard knew she was in trouble this evening, without a doubt, and without an exit strategy.

The purple glow of the Nebula in the distance shone intensely through the windows, and though it was dark in the halls with this part of the station closed for its regulated 'nighttime', it was bright as day. A few more steps and Kaiden slowed his pace, his attentions focused out across the expanse of the metropolis below them. Shepard came to stand beside him, and the two watched over the balcony as transit vehicles flew between buildings, the orange clouds of the system they were in swirling as if the station itself was creating their orbit.

The silence was comfortable, for the moment. Shepard could feel her buzz intensifying, she knew it wouldn't be long before she might become completely inebriated, and closed her eyes.

"We stood here; with Ashley…do you remember?" She asked softly, the stillness of the hallway making her whisper echo.

"I do."

There was a deliberate resolution in his voice, and she knew he'd come here on purpose. She hadn't known what to expect when he asked to relocate, she had figured he'd want to stay in a public place and had automatically thought they might head to another bar or other such social gathering places given their current state. For as much guilty pain as she still felt in remembering Ash, this place was peaceful, it was beautiful from where she stood, and she fought to savor the moment, glad he had brought her here. A small smile touched her expression as she realized there was nowhere else and with no one else she would rather be right now.

"Where are you going, Shepard?" He finally asked, and her smile vanished.

"You know I can't tell you that…"  
"Don't fuck with me."

She opened her eyes and looked at him sharply. It wasn't a rare thing for Kaiden to swear, but Shepard had never heard him curse so colorfully and with such passion behind it. Maybe she was just shocked because it was directed at her for the first time.

"Kaiden…"  
"Listen to me," He snapped, never raising his voice. "Life fell apart when you died, everything just crumbled to pieces. I know what I said on Horizon, I meant most of it…but damnit Shepard you can't just expect that I be ok with all that fell in my lap that day and go back to normal."

"I wasn't asking you to." She said, voice firm though her body swayed. Kaiden's face gave away his deep sadness, and as he turned to face her he came a step closer.

"It took a little more than a year, for my chest to stop hurting every time I thought of you…and here you are, telling me I might lose you, again. Can you imagine how that feels?" He whispered.

The backs of her eyes started to ache faintly, and Shepard knew the water works were on their way out. Crossing her arms tightly over her chest in a vain effort to hold them in she shifted her weight to look at him squarely.

She knew he was well aware of how much trouble she could get into for divulging the kind of information he wanted to hear, but she desperately needed to give him something. She felt it in her gut, if she didn't give him this one thing, the only thing he'd asked of her since they'd been briefly reunited, she may never see him again, regardless of the mission outcome.

"Please don't ask for details…we know the relay the Collector's use, and we're going to use it to hit them at home…"  
"Where?"  
"I told you…"  
"Sable, please."

Shepard froze, her head still spinning. Kaiden had only ever addressed her by her first name twice. Right now, and the night before Ilos. He knew he'd hit a strong nerve when she stared at him, eyes screaming how helplessly lost she felt at that moment, and had no idea what gates he'd just opened. The first tear that started to roll down her cheek, as if she didn't feel it, made his stomach knot. Impulse pushed his arm out, his thumb touching her cheek as lightly as a breeze and wiped the offending tear away.

It happened too fast, they were standing so close, the moment he touched her just broke every wall she had tried to force up against him and she had closed the distance. Recoil caught her just after she tenderly touched her lips to his, his smell invading her senses, reality rushed back and she hurriedly took a step away.

"I'm sorry…I can't, I didn't mean…fuck!"

She turned sharply, failing to register his stunned expression as the world started to jumble. Reaching out a hand to steady herself against the balcony, she brought her free hand to her eyes, the tears pushing hard, the wails of agony burning her throat begging to be released. What the fuck was she thinking?

Her arms were shaking, almost a shiver, in the anxiety that coarsed through her, waiting for him to shut her completely out, to finish them, to never speak with her again. She wished, more than anything to be sober right now. That kiss wouldn't have happened; she wouldn't even be here. She wouldn't be blowing things way out of proportion, she wouldn't be so foolishly emotional.

Kaiden stood at a loss once more. Tonight had turned out nothing like he thought it would. He'd been stationed here for the moment simply due to the lack of need for an engineer anywhere else after Horizon was lost, or so Anderson has told him. Fighting in the front lines had lost all pull for him; he no longer cared to risk his life in the line of duty unless Shepard was there to lead them. It had been an irrational decision, but he hadn't seen any other way out, his heart just wouldn't have it. He had figured earlier that he'd have a drink, maybe two and then head back to his temporary 'apartment'…which was more akin to a rat nest, and go to bed. He'd foreseen nothing exciting about the day at all, and here he stood, kissed breathless by the woman who'd not only gotten him drunk, but tormented his memory with every passing minute.

To top it all off, he knew enough from vids and debriefings the last week to know that the Collector's were the only ships to travel freely using the Omega 4 Relay. Any other ship that had ever passed through it, never returned. It was the only logical answer to the question she was refusing to answer.

His voice was failing him; his hands shook in his indecision. What was only maybe a minute or two felt like an hour, before he took the two steps necessary to touch Shepard's shoulders and turn her back to face him. Her eyes were red and starting to get puffy, her cheeks were dry which meant she was struggling to keep the pain locked away, her brow wrinkled in the effort. His heart couldn't deny her, especially not like this, and he stopped fighting it.

Shepard's vision was hindered by the emotions welling up around her eyes, and though she didn't see it right away she felt his hand reach up to brush away a couple of the stray hairs hanging in her face, it was her only warning before that hand was behind her neck applying a very subtle pressure, and his lips came back to hers.

The pillar she found her back pressed against was cold, Kaiden's body warm and inviting pressed along her front, and her head became light. Her limbs began to feel heavy, and when she opened her mouth slightly to gasp for air Kaiden's tongue swiftly invaded. The moment began to gain momentum, her nails dug into his shoulder blades, but not too hard, his arms wrapped around her waist, but not too tight. They were subconsciously leaving themselves a way out.

Her hands began to move of their own accord, in slow sweeping motions across the expanse of his back, moving upwards until she could tangle her fingers in his dark hair. It was still long enough for a decent handful, and he moaned deep in his throat when she tugged slightly. The sound was so honest; she felt it immediately between her thighs, a whimper escaping her because of it. Cautiously in return, Kaiden pulled her shirt away from her back to let his hands wander across her bare skin, the feel making his resolve weaken further. She felt just as he remembered, silk stretched over steel, her years of military training making her body a sculpture, a piece of art.

Shepard couldn't resist, she opened her eyes a little, just to see his handsome face, to make sure he was really there, really kissing her, and her stomach tightened. A tear was slipping silently from the corner of his eye, his hand movements taking on a desperate note, and although she never wanted to stop she gently pushed on his shoulders. He stepped back but didn't raise his head, and didn't unwind his arms. She fit so perfectly to him; he never wanted to let her go again, didn't want to look up and see rejection in those eyes.

"Kaiden," She started, mimicking his earlier move and pressing her palm to his cheek. Instead of brushing away she left her hand where it was and felt him lean into the touch. "I don't want to do this…if it's only going to cause more pain."

His grip loosened slightly, but she held onto his shoulders to prevent him from stepping away fully until he responded to her voiced concern. She did not want to carry this further only to walk away with a broken heart once again; but she didn't want to push him away if there was some way to make it all work.

"No…it's not the logical choice. But, I don't think I have the strength to watch you walk away from me right now."

Chocolate brown eyes looked down at her in genuine sincerity, and though she failed to say so she knew in her heart she felt the same. For a long while they just held each other, the heat between them still alive and burning, but lessened under the weight of the seriousness of the situation. He surprised her when he finally spoke.

"I have a place, ten minutes walk from here…" He said into her hair, her cheek pressed against his collar bone.

"Yes." She replied instantly, before the question was even properly asked. "But only if it's what you really want."

"There is no doubt in my mind."

~*~

The walk had taken longer than originally quoted to her, but only because the moment they had separated from their embrace to begin moving they both remembered how much damage had been done by the Mezcal worm. Gravity was playing tricks with Kaiden's legs as he fought valiantly to walk normally, without the falter in his steps. Shepard was relying on the walls to guide her path. They were probably both a sight to be held, she was sure.

They were winding their way through the Wards when Kaiden reached out and took her hand, the need too great for him to ignore. He had to touch her. She was his ghost, and he didn't want her to disappear again. Shepard had jerked a little at the unexpected display, but refused to look a gift horse in the mouth and instead intertwined their fingers reassuringly.

Finally reaching a plain white door, marked with a letter and numbers, the duo pushed inside to a dark dwelling that felt cramped even with the lights off. Kaiden didn't bother to turn them on. As soon as the door hissed shut he wrapped her back up in his arms, determined to pick up where they'd left off. Shepard didn't mind, her body was tingling uncontrollably, rational thought was flying quickly out the window as she was once again pinned to the nearest wall.

Their tongues danced feverishly, her hands gripping his shirt for both support and to attempt relieving him of it entirely. It didn't take much encouragement, and the offending garment was stripped away and thrown into the blackness without further prodding required. His dog tags danced across his chest with the movement, his lips meeting hers again in deliberate strokes as her hands fell to his shoulders. Feather light touches were scattered over his front, her finger tips teasing trails across his belly before moving along his ribs and back up along his spine. He growled against her lips, the fire growing brighter.

Shepard deepened her touch, pulling him closer to her, feeling his hands grip the bottom of her shirt before it was pulled over her head. She let it drop carelessly, her mind blank except for the sensation of his skin on hers as he stepped back to her, wrapping his arms around her again and completely encompassing her in his warmth. He kissed her neck when she draped her arms back over his shoulders, his hands moving smoothly to the clasp of her bra. Though the shirts had come off roughly, he took his time pulling each strap off her arms, stroking his fingers across every part of her he touched in the process.

A deep sigh escaped her when his hands retreated back down her sides, tracing the ugly scar that ran from her left armpit to the small of her back, her head falling back as his lips moved across her collar bone. She felt the pressure of his touch move across her backside, before he reached further to grab the tops of her thighs and hoist her up against him, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist. The change in position allowed her to feel the warm bulge in his pants, pressed snuggly to her most intimate parts, and her breath caught in her throat. Her thighs tensed, holding him against her, and he circled his hips. The friction wrung primitive noises from both of them, before he reclaimed her eager lips.

The adrenaline Kaiden could feel made it possible for him to push away from the wall, Shepard still tangled around him and made it to the bed in the middle of the room without falling or dropping her. They rolled together until Shepard found leverage to keep him beneath her, her mouth descending on his while his hands found purchase on her hips.

Sitting up, Shepard scraped her nails lightly down his stomach, before stepping back off the bed. He sat up to lean on his elbows, worry touching his features briefly, fear that she was going to run making his heart race. But she smiled a small delicate smile that she reserved just for him. A smile he'd never thought he'd see again, even after he found out she was still alive.

"I…"  
"You don't have to…" Shepard insisted quietly, touching her palms to either side of his neck to keep him from looking away. She knew what he wanted to say, and it wasn't necessary.

He fell silent, the debate still lingering in his expression, and Shepard fell against him. The distraction was successful. They finally came together again, Shepard fought to relax, to memorize how he felt. It had been so long. This was what she needed, not just a night of heavy drinking, not a fling with a stranger, Kaiden made her complete again.

Weakness hit both of them immediately following the joining, the alcohol and the exertion catching up with them too quickly for Shepard's tastes. Though Kaiden felt as if he would crush her, Shepard pulled him back down to lay on top of her and held him tightly, not wanting him anywhere else. The sweat on his back was cooling as she ran her fingers gently along his spine, feeling the goosebumps rising in their wake, his chest expanding rapidly to catch his breath.

"I never thought…after everything that I said, you would ever be here, in my arms again."

He shifted when she didn't respond, raising his head to look at her. She was smiling, her talented hands still playing on his back, and he quirked an eyebrow.

"It's the only place I've wanted to be since I woke up."

The warmth that touched his chest wasn't from their recent activities, the pain that had gripped him so hard since she died was gone, his shoulders felt lighter and his head clear. Shepard was looking at him intently, but she wasn't waiting for anything, she was perfectly content to lay here for the rest of the night, with him. He let the silence stretch, before placing a very soft kiss on her temple and, gathering her in his arms completely, rolled to his back so that she lay atop him.

Sleep claimed them both not moments later.

~*~


	4. Promises Censored

Last chapter, also heavily edited…enjoy.

~*~

Hazy consciousness began to creep through his limbs, eye lids fluttered as light started to register. A pressure over his heart brought him around completely, and Kaiden gasped awake. For a terrifying moment he thought he had taken home a stranger, had hallucinated Shepard being here. He wouldn't put it past a drink like tequila to do that, especially since for some reason he couldn't remember how much he'd had to drink.

He looked down to a mop of brown hair sprawled across his chest, a tan arm wrapped around his stomach and a muscled thigh twisted in the sheets that trapped their legs together. As carefully as he could manage with sore arms, he swept away some of the hair that had fallen in the face of his companion. The purple light that poured in through the automatic blinds that had opened not too long ago as a wakeup call colored her auburn hair in reds and blues as it sifted through his fingers. Relief, like a cool draft washed over him when he could finally see Shepard's peaceful expression, still lost to the depths of her dreams.

She was smiling softly, all the worry lines and deep-rooted anguish he'd seen last night at the bar was gone. Lying back, Kaiden closed his eyes, a headache starting at the base of his skull as he ran the events of the night before over and over again in his mind. He still didn't believe it; it was too good to be true, even though she lay here with him now as real as the bed and the room itself. Lifting the arm she was laying on he brought his hand to her back, pulling her closer to him.

Shepard shifted at the movement, mumbling something incoherent and rubbed her cheek against his chest. The only way to really describe the feeling he got in his stomach at the gesture was to call it butterflies, and he opened his eyes to look down at her again. Her eyelids were fluttering; her brow furrowing as she began the process of waking up. A small bubble of panic rose in his throat as there was no question, she would leave him when she woke, she would leave and she might not come back ever again. He fought it down resolutely, not allowing himself to sour what could be his last hour with her because he couldn't stay collected. Instead, he relaxed back into his pillow, eyes open and staring at the ceiling as he waited for her to come around completely.

It didn't take too much longer, a groan signaling her eyes had opened and a tensing of the muscles in her thighs was in preparation for a stretch. Kaiden heard her breath catch in her throat, before her head lifted from his chest.

"It wasn't a dream…" She whispered, scooting upwards against his side to look him square in the eyes.

All he could do was watch her expression, trying for what he was worth to think of something to say to her, before she left him. He wanted to beg her to stay with him, though that was impossible. He considered for a moment just biting his tongue and joining up with Cerberus just to be with her again, though he knew he could never honestly work with a corporation like that, no matter what excuses he used to justify it. Every muscle in his body wanted to pull her face down to his and kiss her until neither of them could think straight, though he worried that would have horrible consequences.

As if she'd read his mind, however, she leant forward and touched their lips so softly he almost didn't feel her. Leaning forward he deepened the kiss, but only enough to bring her closer to him, her hands falling to his hair.

Shepard's heart was pounding against her chest so hard she thought it was going to burst, the migraine that she'd felt upon opening her eyes to the obnoxiously bright light just a moment before had immediately dissipated. Her stomach felt a little uneasy due to her movement, but she diligently ignored it in favor of straddling Kaiden.

The kiss wasn't supposed to lead to anything, hadn't been meant to, but the moment she rested herself across his waist Kaiden didn't think he'd be able to refuse her if she tried to go further.

Sitting up slowly, Shepard broke away from her ministrations to pull her hair back in to the barrette she'd had it in the night before. Kaiden watched, not knowing whether or not it was a good idea to touch her any more than he was. The fear that was gnawing at his insides growing stronger, all he wanted was to run his hands across her belly, to pull her back to him, but the liquid courage he'd ridden on last night was completely gone. He found himself turning a mess, sober in the face of his lost lover, who'd stayed with him for the night.

Shepard noticed, and gently lay back across his chest, weight resting on her elbows that sat on either side of his head. She touched their foreheads together, noses brushing softly, and began to play with his hair again. She loved his hair.

"I know I don't have to tell you, I'm leaving the Citadel today." She murmured, carefully keeping her features smooth and without the pain she felt at saying those words. He couldn't respond, but nodded his acknowledgement.

"I'm not going to say goodbye…because I plan on seeing you again." She paused, a frown touching her expression. "As long as you'll have me when I return."

"Always." He whispered, his voice not strong enough for anything louder.

The look he gave her was drastically more hopeful than the previous, but was still tinged with agony. She felt for him, knew what he was fretting about. Unfortunately she also knew there was nothing she could do to make him feel better right now, short of leaving the galaxy to perish.

Pushing with renewed energy Kaiden sat up; Shepard cradled in his lap, and kissed her fervently. He didn't want her to leave him today unsatisfied, physically or otherwise. The sound she made when she felt the growing warmth underneath her told him she felt the same.

They took it slow this time, mapping each other meticulously with fingers and lips and teeth. In this light he could clearly see the scars that adorned her entire frame, could feel every jagged rise of skin as he tried to touch every part of her. She had a particularly deep mark that curved just above her breasts, almost like a necklace but lower on her chest. He trailed the scar with kisses and one of her hands came back up his neck to his head. It drove him crazy when she played with his hair.  
They found themselves coming together uncontrollably once more, proving to each other that everything that had been said was true, and not just the product of a fog of alcohol.

Shepard draped herself across his chest in a position similar to how they'd fallen asleep last night, and focused on regulating her breathing after everything was said and done. She could still feel him, his arms around her back, lips touching every now and again to her shoulder and neck.

Never had she felt so at home, so at peace with herself than she did in his arms, sated and loved. All this time, in which she meant the past month and a half she'd been conscious again, she'd felt empty, devastated. Though rebuilt new and improved, there was a hole in her chest that refused to heal. Finding Kaiden safe on Horizon had put a couple of the missing pieces together, even after what he'd said in an irrational anger. Right now, nothing was missing. It didn't matter that they were in what could've been a closet instead of an apartment, didn't matter that life was moving on without them just beyond that door. They would return to reality soon enough.

All that mattered was Kaiden Alenko, and she knew she had to let him know that.

"I love you, Kaiden."

His arms tightened around her back when she whispered this into his ear, his heart hammering against his ribcage, and with a firm hand lifted her eyes to meet his. Stroking her cheeks tenderly with his thumbs, Kaiden smiled for what felt like the first time in his life.

"I love you, Sable."

~*~

After a couple hours of just lying in his arms she'd sat up with great reluctance, dressed in her civvies and waited as he did the same. He'd asked to walk her to her ship, and she'd smiled. They both had taken their time, Shepard not wanting to leave, at least not without him, and Kaiden not wanting to watch her go. When they finally reached the docking bay via the C-Sec central elevator, Shepard couldn't take the silence or lack of physical contact, and had all but attacked him before the doors opened. He still couldn't deny her, and he knew he never would.

"I don't know how I'm going to stay sane without you by my side." She'd told him, kissing him once more before turning to head into the airlock of the new Normandy.

She turned to look at him before the doors closed behind her, hoping against hope that it wouldn't be the last time she'd see him. For his credit, he'd smiled for her, a genuine smile that promised so many things, so much happiness. She couldn't help but return the gesture.

Once aboard Shepard noticed that the majority of the crew had already returned from leave, the rest had roughly 20 minutes to report before they left port without them. Her ground team, all current members were milling about the command center, Miranda and Jacob reviewing coordinates, Mordin speaking intently with Kelly Chambers, Garrus looking as if he'd been there for the sole fact of waiting for her arrival.

She felt so fulfilled, ready to get back on track and get things done. She made a mental list of her priorities as she turned to speak with Joker, the pilot sitting quietly at the helm.

"Ready for take-off?" She asked, and Joker grinned up at her.  
"Your glowing, Commander." He stated instead of answering her pointless question. Of course he was ready for take-off.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, but couldn't keep the smile from her face. She would be glowing for a long time to come, her stomach fluttering as she recalled the events of her night. The Council had been useless to them, to her, but Kaiden had given her the strength no army could.

"It was a much needed shore-leave." She admitted, and Joker chuckled good-naturedly. At least one problem had been mended.

~*~

Ok, so that's end of this story, there may or may not be a sequel, it all depends on how the 3rd game goes. Any and all reviews are eagerly awaited and accepted, hope you liked if not let me know.


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